Being the only woman in a working environment, or – as in my case – the only foreign woman in a laowai men-dominated office, has advantages and disadvantages.
On the positive side: you can always find someone to help when your computer ‘freaks out’ and the most advanced IT knowledge you have is how to defragment your disc. You also get invaluable insights into the ‘secret’ male point of view on relationships. In the long run, however, the downsides are riskier. The pricey nut mix that you once kindly offered to them is now in constant danger of being pilfered; you are overexposed to information you don’t necessarily want to hear; and finally, you 'do as the Romans do’. And according to my Chinese female coworkers that is a ‘no no’ for a woman, who think that what is totally acceptable for a man can’t be applied by a woman. Example?
Here we go! A couple weeks ago, our principal told me ‘Gosia – I have to tell you something…You are too strict and some of the ‘sensitive’ students are scared to death of you!’ Well, I didn’t want to reiterate the same issue we all know – that the dear Fù'èrdài ( the second generation of the rich) will find any excuse to defend their laziness. To justify myself I said, ‘But I am not doing anything that the guys are not doing. Teacher E. is way stricter than me, and these are so spoilt that being strict is the only way to keep them in line!’ And what I heard was, ‘I know, but they don’t complain about him, just about your overly strict attitude….’ Well, I should have explained it to her that they are just nailing it. They are being perfect niúbī, and accusing me of being too strict is just their typical scheme of turning tables.
Niúbī is not a new expression, but since it appeared in the 90s, its meaning and transcription have evolved. The first character is always 牛- niú – cow, but the second one has a few variations, all with the sound bī (逼 - force ; 比 – compare, associate; or 屄 – which is the original one, but almost never used since the literal ’ugly’ translation is ‘c*nt)’. Sometimes the Chinese character is abandoned and just replaced by ‘B’ -牛 B . However, the connotations of niúbī are quite far from the exact translation of its characters, which can be positive or negative.
The evil NB is the kind of person who – if ever warned about violating rules – will start preening themselves about how important he or she is, letting off an air of self – importance and cockiness. Example : You are giving a class but one student notoriously keeps talking loudly. When requested to focus and pay attention, he takes out his latest Iphone 6s and starts calling his parents, and complaining about the teacher. Bad NB attitude is what we would call arrogant and imperious; the type of person who assumes all his actions are justified.
Actually, the ‘historical background’ of this word also has a negative connotation, as it comes from the expression 吹牛皮 - chuī niúpí – ‘to blow cow ride’- or simply ‘to brag’. Where is the connection? Apparently in the past some ingenious person came up with the idea of inflating cow hides to cross the river. Powerful lungs are obviously necessary for this,, and who could blow more hot air than the braggarts?
The positive one is the double of English ‘confident’, ‘daring’ ‘impressive’, ‘awesome’, ‘amazing’. ’Badass’ or ‘hardcore’ are quite applicable as well. Picture this situation – I will stay with the school environment to be consistent. There’s a student who never makes a bit of an effort during the school year. Never hands in any homework. But when the final exam comes around, the student scores 100%. Provided that no cheating was involved ( or he/she never got caught) – this kind of person would be a ‘good’ species of NB.
Being the only foreign woman working among men can be tough. But working with a bunch of Fù'èrdài who are niúbī is an even bigger challenge for one’s sanity. Recently, as the days are getting warmer, we have had an aircon drama. The students think it is already so unbearably hot that they turn it down to 18oC. I have been trying to explain to them that we will all get ganmao because of such quick temperature swings. But the response was ‘We pay so you go and turn it on!’Plus another admin report on me. And what to do in such circumstances? Take a deep breath, go to the office, and count on my male colleagues’ spiritual support (as they will do anything to deserve even one precious nut from my mix).
Sometimes venting is the only relief from the hard knock life in a negative niúbī environment.